I announced back in October that we were expecting a baby, due December 13th. Well, Connor Ryan Cicak arrived on Saturday, December 9th, 2023 at 5 am. He weighed 9 lbs. 1 oz. and was 21 inches long. We didn’t know if we were having a boy or girl, so it was amazing to be surprised. I still remember Ryan excitedly yelling “It’s a Boy!” over and over in the delivery room. We are thrilled, and Connor couldn’t be more perfect. I’ve been taking a step back from work the past few months to savor all the newborn snuggles. I can’t believe Connor is already two months old. Time goes by really fast when you’re sleep deprived!

As most deliveries are, my labor experience was pretty dramatic. I was 39 weeks along (which was a miracle since doctors had been telling me that I could go any time starting at 24 weeks). We were sitting around on a Friday night around 9:30 pm watching our usual tv shows (Julia on Max to be specific). Suddenly, I felt a slight tightening in my belly. I could barely feel it, so brushed it off. The tightening remained mild, but it kept happening. Since I wasn’t in pain, I didn’t think I was in labor yet. We tried to go to bed, but couldn’t sleep. I started to get nervous. Around 2 am, I realized the tightening was happening every 4 minutes. We decided to go to the hospital just to be safe. The nurses checked me in and agreed that I couldn’t possibly be in labor because I was cool as a cucumber.

Low and behold, I was 8 cm dilated when they checked me. My doctor rushed to the hospital and then broke my water. From there, things escalated quickly. Suddenly, I was experiencing pain worse than anything I could possibly imagine. I didn’t have the chance to get an epidural because everything moved so fast. I only pushed for 15 minutes, but it felt like a lifetime. Towards the end, everyone was screaming at me that I needed to get him out immediately because his heart rate was dropping. With one final push and a little help from a vacuum, Connor was born. The delivery was so rough, I broke out in hives after and popped several blood vessels in my eyes. I’m grateful that at least it was quick.

Once Connor was born, he needed oxygen because he had fluid in his lungs. I didn’t even get to hold him, because they rushed him off the NICU to recover. He remained there the entire time we were in the hospital so they could monitor him. It was really hard to see him like that, hooked up to so many tubes. We woke up every three hours so we could go visit him and feed him. We’re grateful he made a full recovery with some extra TLC. We all went home on Monday evening, and dove straight into the adventure of parenting.

For the first few nights, we barely got any sleep. My recovery was brutal, so that made it really tough to care for a newborn. Luckily, Ryan was able to take 2 months of paternity leave. What no one told me is that, in the beginning, things get exponentially easier with each day that passes. The first few days were the hardest. 2-3 weeks in, we started to get more sleep and find a routine. I have to give a special shoutout the the Snoo here. I credit this miraculous bassinet with how we got any sleep at all. It’s really expensive, but worth every penny. Thanks to the Snoo, he was sleeping in 2 hour increments by the end of the first week.

We are blessed with a very happy baby. Connor only cries when he’s hungry and he just loves to be held, so he’s my constant sidekick. Two months in, we’re only waking up every 4 hours at night, which I hear is pretty good for newborns.

Ryan has since returned to work and I’m still trying to figure out what my art practice looks like as a new mom. I had many years to focus solely on my art, so I’m happy to scale back for now. I’m still shipping print orders two days a week, thanks to Ryan and my parents’ help. Other than that, I haven’t made any new art. My blog post schedule is still up in the air too, although I will continue to share bi-weekly posts with my GPS members.

Overall, I’m just feeling extremely blessed that Connor is healthy and thriving. Our road to parenthood has not been easy, so I feel extremely lucky to be a mom. Connor is such a gift. He loves baths, Christmas lights, snuggles, walks in the stroller, driving around, and music. While the change has been overwhelming at times, it’s hard to feel anything but gratitude for all the joy he’s brought to our lives.