Artrepreneur Success Rule #10/10
Rule #10: Never Give Up
People tell me all the time that they’d love to do what I do. On paper, I can see how being your own boss sounds appealing. You have no one to answer to but yourself. Your time is your own and you get to do something you love all day. When they say this, I nod and smile. However, I know deep down most people aren’t cut out for this line of work because it is HARD. I’m not any smarter or more talented than anyone else. The only difference between me and the average person is that I refuse to give up. I’m scrappy and will never stop fighting for what I want.
I’ve created and posted almost 250 art prints to my online shop. Most of them before I was getting any sales. I wrote on my blog weekly for several years before I started seeing any traffic. These are just a few examples of my perserverance. Some might think I’m a little insane. I’d say I’m determined. The most determined you can possibly be.
A good example of this is when my mother-in-law lost her wedding ring in her living room years ago. The whole family looked for it for about 15 minutes and then gave up. They all said “oh well, I guess we’ll never find it.” I said, “nope, we’re finding this thing.” That’s the moment I realized I was different from most people. I’m not sure if I was born this way, or became this way. I just don’t quit. By myself, I turned the room upside down looking for the ring, spending 20 minutes longer than everyone else. I would have spent all day if I had to. And guess what, I found the ring in the couch cushions! This is a super power I have. It’s just how I’m wired. I’m guessing most other successful artrepreneurs think similarly. Even if you aren’t wired this way, it can be learned once you come to terms with what’s at stake. It’s only your very happiness on the line.
I do all aspects of my life this way. Since I never give up, I’ve had to fight REALLY hard for what I want. REALLY HARD. For me, life sometimes feels like an uphill battle. I look around and everyone else’s life seems simpler and easier. However, I’m the one who’s actively working on my lifelong goals. Everyone else just talks about it. At 36, many of my dreams have become a reality simply because I’ve held out longer than anyone else would. I realized I can get everything I want out of life, just not always on the timeline I want. And I hope you realize this too. By giving up on your dreams, you’re accepting defeat and ensuring they never come true. Do you want to live a mediocre life or your dream life? You only get one, so answer wisely!
In my late twenties, I found myself heading down a path I wasn’t excited about. I didn’t like my job that I spent 90% of my time at for 4 years. It felt like such a waste. I wanted to invest my days in myself and my own well-being, so I made some serious changes. I quit my job and started my own business. I also missed my family in Illinois, even though we were pretty settled in Columbus, Ohio at the time. So I changed that too. We sold our house we’d just finished renovating to move closer to my family. The more changes I made, the more powerful I felt. I realized I could change the course of my life at any time.
This is not what the world tells you though. There so many books and movies about people who feel stuck in a situation they don’t want to be in. This makes me crazy. I’ve had to distance myself from several friends with this mindset because I can’t accept this victim mentality. It’s toxic to my own hopes and dreams. I’m not trying to sound naive. I do realize that I’ve led a pretty fortunate existence. Some people do get themselves into really tough situations that seem impossible to get out of. Many people are born into these situations. But this is where it’s time to ask for help. There is always someone or some organization that’s willing to help. Never accept the current situation you’re in if you aren’t happy. Fight your way out or die trying.
It can be tough to stay true to your dreams when you have people around you to consider, like your spouse, your kids, or aging parents. Bottom line, they probably want you to accomplish your dreams too. Usually, it just requires a few honest conversations on what’s important to you and to the family. If your dreams require sacrifices on their end, maybe in return you can make some of your own to empower them to accomplish their dreams. I think all families can grow closer through these conversations. We all have things that really matter to us, and things we can let slide. It’s usually just a matter of striking a good compromise. Just don’t stop trying to get everyone on the same page. And that’s not only your page, it’s the page that most benefits all members of the family. Sometimes you may need to delay your dreams a bit for your family’s wellbeing. But don’t give up on them. Just say, “I have some time. I will do that later,” and set a timeline for yourself that suits the family. If you don’t feel like your family is supportive, it may be time to stand up for yourself or enlist a professional to help you work through it.
When you’ve tried and tried at something and you keep hitting a wall, ask for help. I haven’t had to do this as much in my business, but definitely in my life. Trying to have kids was incredibly difficult for me. We lost our first son in the second trimester, which was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. It was the closest I’ve ever come to giving up on something I wanted. My grief was that powerful. However, I picked myself up and enlisted the support of a therapist and a good team of doctors to make my dream a reality. The process consumed half of my thirties. Finally, we had our son in December, and he’s the best thing I’ve ever made. Now, I get to experience being a mom, which is something I always wanted. It would have been easier to quit, but then I wouldn’t be where I am now. I’m so glad I didn’t give up when I so badly wanted to.
Our dreams are always evolving, just as we’re always evolving. Something that you wanted when you were ten years old may not be something you want any more. It’s important to do regular check-ins with yourself to know what you want. Asking yourself why can be great guidance. If you can’t come up with a good answer, it may be time to find a new dream. Prioritizing our dreams can be tough too. I find it easier to focus on one thing at a time, versus all my goals at once.
In a world that values instant gratification, it can be really hard to hang in there. Even your loved ones will think you’re crazy. You’ll feel like no one gets you. As a good rule of thumb, I ask myself daily, “If I continue on this path, will I eventually accomplish all my dreams?” If not, I know I need to make some changes. Usually they are small changes in the form of habits. Small changes compound into big changes. If you are really off course though, you might need to make a massive change. If this is the case, be brave and keep your eye on the ball. Most people will question your decisions.
This is all to say that I hope you keep trying to make your dreams a reality until you’re old and grey. NEVER GIVE UP. When one way doesn’t work, try another way. I’m constantly telling myself ‘there is always another way’ or something I haven’t tried yet. Instead of saying I can’t I say, “I just don’t know how to make this dream a reality YET, but I will figure it out.” And when in doubt, ask experts. Talk to other artrepreneurs. Take courses and learn all you can to set yourself up for success. Never stop learning and you will get there. I believe in you. You just need to believe in yourself and never stop.
Just remember, when you head down the path to accomplishing your dreams, your life will feel harder than everyone else’s. However, at some point you’ll look around and realize you did all the things you wanted to at the point when most people are filled with regret. You’ll be content while everyone else is trying to come to terms with a life that wasn’t what they envisioned.
I had so much fun writing this series, and I’m a bit sad I’ve gotten through all 10 rules. Which rule was your favorite? Let me know in the comments below!