Have you ever thought about what success really means to you (if you put aside everyone else’s definition of success)? I don’t think people consider this enough when choosing a career path.

Answering this question is probably the clarity you need to make the next move in your career (and life) - whether it be changing jobs, starting your own company, or just shifting priorities at your current job. It’s the perfect way to get yourself “un-stuck.”

When I went into corporate graphic design as a college graduate, I didn’t think much about what success meant to me. I kind of let other people define it for me. Success simply meant finding a job and making as much money as I could. I didn’t have the wisdom or life experience to think otherwise. After four years of working in corporate, I became extremely unhappy, and I had no idea why. I had everything I thought I wanted.

Pushing myself to finally define success on my own terms changed my life. It gave me the strength to quit my job and start a freelance business.

So how do you get to the root of what success means to you?

1. First, ask yourself what your priorities are. A good way to think about this is to picture yourself at the end of your life - extremely old, but extremely content. You lived well. What are all the things you did right? Maybe you put your family first. Maybe you had enough money to retire young. Maybe you did that thing you always wanted to do. List as many things as you can, and write them all down.

   This exercise is a good way to separate your ego from you inner voice. Your ego might say, “I’d love to be a billionaire, and have all the notoriety and respect that comes with that.” But at the end of your life, will this really matter? Probably not. Maybe what you are really seeking is enough money to experience all the things you want to experience. After all, you can’t take it with you.

2. Next, find common threads between your answers. Maybe you mentioned family a lot. Maybe it’s all about travel for you. Maybe it’s about financial success. Try to simplify all of the things you listed into a couple sentences or mission statements. It might sound something like this - “I want to have the freedom to see my kids whenever I want”, or “I want to have enough money to see the world.”

3. Ask yourself what it would take to lean into your priorities. Maybe you want to travel, but your job doesn’t give you the time to do so. Could you find a new job that pays for you to see the world? Or maybe you start your own company, so you can freelance from anywhere. Maybe it’s just as simple as asking your boss if you can take more work trips.

4. Take action. Identify which of these life changes would have the biggest impact. The best changes tend to be the ones that cover several priorities. For example, maybe you buy a new home so you can cut your commute in half AND have room for an art studio. Determine one big change you want to make, and develop an action plan. Write out all the baby steps it would take to make this change happen, and give yourself a timeline.

5. Make a promise to yourself. As you start working on your plan, promise yourself never to neglect your priorities from this point forward. All career and life decisions should get you closer and closer to your definition of success. Anything that moves you further away is a hard pass.

For me, success is:

• Having endless time to spend with my loved ones

• Having freedom to pursue all of my passions and learn new things whenever I want

• Having enough money never to have to worry and to experience all the things I want to experience

• To like what I do enough to enjoy waking up every day

The beautiful thing about defining success is that, once you have your own definition, everything seems so simple and obtainable. I actually knew what I was fighting for when I decided to leave my corporate job five years ago.

By my definition of success, I am successful. I’m not a billionaire. I don’t live in a mansion. And I don’t own a private jet (that actually sounds like kind of a nightmare to me). I have no intention of ever doing any of those things. However, I can go shopping with my mom on a Tuesday when client projects allow. I work from home with my husband, so I can see him whenever I want. I have the flexibility to run an Etsy shop on the side. I can take classes and read any time I want. I can work from anywhere, and travel as much as I want. I work really hard, but it’s work I love, and I don’t dread Mondays. My definition of success probably looks completely different than yours, but that’s the point. You must find your own definition.

While a big part of success is about your career, it’s also about molding the rest of your life to fit your priorities. For instance, making more money is the same as saving more money. Maybe you get less house than you can afford, so you can see the world. Maybe you say no to social activities, so you can start your own business. Sacrifices will have to be made so you can have the life you want. Once you are clear on your priorities, making the necessary sacrifices will be easier.

I can tell you this - sometimes it will feel like people are fighting you tooth and nail to keep you chasing their definition of success. This is just other people’s resistance kicking in. Seeing someone prioritizing their life can be very threatening, because it makes other people question how they are living their lives. Why wouldn’t you max out your budget on your dream home? Why would you take a pay cut to do something you actually like? Why would you risk freelancing, when you have a steady job? If other people are unsupportive or confused, you are probably doing something right. If you want a life unlike everyone else’s, you will have to do things differently.

So many people tell me they are unhappy in their lives, but are just too busy to do anything about it. They blame their kids, their jobs, their spouses, their finances, the list goes on and on. They use every excuse in the book not to take responsibility for where they are at. This makes me absolutely CRAZY! It’s only your ENTIRE LIFE. You don’t have the luxury of living it twice, so it must be on your terms. Often times, real success is actually about simplifying and not about doing more. If you are too busy to be the best version of yourself, your poor definition of success is probably to blame.

Unfortunately, humanity makes the same mistakes generation after generation. We work too hard to buy things we don’t even need (or want). We’re chasing something someone else told us to chase. And for what purpose?

I wish, from the bottom of my heart, for you to find the courage to live the exact life you want. No regrets. One day, I want you to be old, happy, and extremely content with the life you chose. I think the simple question “what does success mean to me?” is the first step to living your best life.